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Daniel Dye : Grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat .. |
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I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doct.. |
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I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in.. |
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I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get... |
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My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
-- Rodney Dangerf.. |
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Once when I was lost... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my pa.. |
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my f.. |
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I'm so ugly... My mother had morning sickness... AFTER I was born.
-- Rodney D.. |
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When I was born... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my fath.. |
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I'm so ugly... My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with h.. |
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I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she.. |
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I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.. |
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I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering m.. |
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Its been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put on a shirt and a button fe.. |
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One day as I came home early from work... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to.. |
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she.. |
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A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody hom.. |
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I was so poor growing up... If I wasn't born a boy... I'd have nothing to play.. |
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MANY PEOPLE WALK IN AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE, BUT ONLY TRUE FRIENDS LEAVE A FOOTPR.. |
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In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of
a m.. |
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I FOUND JESUS!
He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana |
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I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like .. |
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Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
|
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Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. |
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FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church. |
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Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechani.. |
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"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" - Abra.. |
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"Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton |
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"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima,1945 |
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"Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 |
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"Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937 |
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"It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso,1926 |
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"Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer,1877 |
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"You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566 |
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"How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC |
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"Scattered Fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC |
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“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Ch.. |
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"You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what's burnin.. |
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The Hacker Manifesto
by
+++The Mentor+++
Written January 8, 1986
Anot.. |
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A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagst.. |
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If you fear what you experience then you have already experienced what you fear. |
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382ec73e8fd6fe6e3cdbd75cc6b2e70b
<a href="http://njdokj.info/b559b05.. |
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Sometimes, when you stand on principle, you stand alone. |
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It is not always necessary for your thoughts to have an audio track! |
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In an effort to change the things that are wrong, don't destroy the things tha.. |
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992bc60c397e78e727279c1931b2845e
<a href="http://njdokj.info/1b92535.. |
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Conseil:
Don't forget the cannibals.
Ned Land:
Oh, belay the cannibals. He s.. |
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Old Billy:
Come on, Casey! This is no place for a clergyman's son!
- 20,000 L.. |
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Captain Nemo:
Mr. Land, you saved my life. Why?
Ned Land:
That's a good ques.. |
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Conseil:
Cannibals! Hundreds of cannibals! Captain, Captain, scores of boats! .. |
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Captain Nemo:
I asked you to leave, Professor.
Prof. Pierre Arronax:
You als.. |
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Conseil:
All those men. They didn't even have a chance.
Ned Land:
They were .. |
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Ned Land:
[watching Nemo's bomb explode] There she blows.
- 20,000 Leagues Un.. |
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Conseil:
I want to escape, too! You said you had a plan.
Ned Land:
I do have.. |
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[Ned cautiously samples his "pudding"]
Ned Land:
What is it?
Ca.. |
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Captain Nemo:
...there is hope for the future. When the world is ready for a n.. |
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Captain Nemo:
Would you care to come along, Professor?
Professor Pierre Aron.. |
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[Upon arriving on a deserted beach with Ned Land]
Conseil:
I don't see any n.. |
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Captain Nemo:
Do you know the meaning of love, professor?
Professor Pierre A.. |
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[Observing the slave island]
Professor Pierre Aronnax:
What is in those sack.. |
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Professor Pierre Aronnax:
A strange twilight world opened up before me, and I .. |
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[Donning diving gear]
Ned Land:
Fine way to go huntin'. I knew there'd be a .. |
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Captain Nemo:
Ah, we're almost at the island of Crespo. All this was once an i.. |
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Captain Nemo:
Accept one of these cigars, professor.
Professor Pierre Aronna.. |
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[Boarding the Nautilus for the first time]
Professor Pierre Aronnax:
There is.. |
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Captain Nemo:
Eat your pudding, Mr. Land.
Ned Land:
I ain't sure it's puddin.. |
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Captain Nemo:
There's a fork on your left, Mr. Land. Or aren't you accustomed .. |
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Captain Nemo:
Think of it. On the surface there is hunger and fear. Men still .. |
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Captain Nemo:
The natives over there are cannibals. They eat liars with the sa.. |
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Captain Nemo:
I am not what is called a civilized man, Professor. I have done .. |
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I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for ove.. |
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"Think for yourself and question authority." -- Timothy Leary |
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Carry your own water, I'll hold the glass steady so you can take a drink when .. |
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neldredge: but to quote a U2 song, "the God I believe in isn't short on c.. |
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j0zf: i think it's a fallacy to believe us humans can really accomplish anythi.. |
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Sometimes it's best not to question your friend. Just help them dump the body.. |
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The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than s.. |
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"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Due.. |
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"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advanc.. |
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"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
Marechal.. |
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"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
I.. |
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"This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it. He's doomed."
Ha.. |
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"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
A.. |
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"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You'r.. |
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"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of.. |
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"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction.. |
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"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even b.. |
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"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The lite.. |
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"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
Lord Kelvin, pre.. |
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"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
De.. |
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"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say A.. |
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"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gar.. |
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"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
H.M. Warner, Warner Broth.. |
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"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better .. |
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"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay.. |
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"Louis Pastueur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
Pierre Pa.. |
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"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as.. |
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"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intr.. |
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"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ke.. |
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"But what ... is it good for?"
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Sy.. |
